Grief (Loss pain)

I have been thinking about a very depressive thing. I don’t know why did it come to me today, but it kept pushing and pushing until I finally gave up.

It is loss of a loved one and the grief and pain it brings. I am pretty sure that everybody has at least once experienced the loss of a loved one, by death or separation or whatever.

Many of us have experienced the agony it causes, the loneliness, and may be at times the extreme sensation that life is tasteless and that we just wanted it to end.

I have been looking closely at these feelings, trying to learn more about their origin. When you feel agonizing pain after getting separated from someone you love, does it mean you really loved that one deeply? Does the degree of pain correlate with love, or is it just a personal trait or a mere immaturity??

I don’t have a solid answer to that question, but I have been there before. I experienced that agonizing pain and with that harsh experience I learnt a few things that I so much feel like sharing with you.

I don’t pretend to be wise or something and I have no idea how will I react if it ever happens again, but these are just the thoughts I had after my own experience.

I believe that the key to understanding the nature of this grief, this loss pain is to understand that life is not meant to be a static phenomenon, to understand that life is dynamic, a journey and a human is so much like a tourist and the more things you see, the more beautiful the trip is! and to see a new place you have to leave another! Your physical form limits your ability to be in many places at once.

Unfortunately we are not gods!! Unfortunately we are limited by the time and the place limits. It is sad maybe, but I have once asked myself that question, would I trade my body with a more free mental form that can be everywhere and anywhere? The question sounds stupid I know especially because it was misused in the movies, but if you look closer you will find things different. So back again to the question, would you trade your body with a more free mental form that can be everywhere? Personally, I would never trade my body for anything.

Though the world of ideas and emotions seems very appealing to me, I won’t live my life in them, because it simply means to be dead! Ideas are the core of everything, the primary basic form of existence, the body itself was an idea and when you give that idea life, it becomes a body, a one that can touch and be touched, smell and be smelled, and most importantly, a one that can love and be loved. Personally I would stick to what Brad Pitt has said in Troy “the movie!”, Gods envy humans because they are mortals, because every moment could be the last moment, and that is what makes things more beautiful.

Now I can imagine some of you may be asking, what does this body vs. spirit discussion have to do with the grief thing. Well, actually it has everything to do with the grief of the loss.

The grief is the bodily painful reaction to loss. (I use the term body to express the whole physical phenomenon including the true body [limbs, chest, etc…], the sexuality and all other earthy emotion).

I believe grief is something different than sadness, the romantic sadness if I may use this term. The grief is a sort of depression, an illness like a flu (much more tough though!), it paralyses you, it makes things tasteless. On the other hand, true understanding of ourselves and the true nature of things and life brings another reaction to loss, loss of a loved one, it is romantic sadness, or hmmm, existential sadness may be a more proper term, like the one which comes with the fall! Life goes on, and you go on with it eager to experience new things, to be in new places but when you are sitting alone, listening to the wind or staring at the dark sky, you sense that subtle sadness appearing from the corner, you may smile a silent smile, shed a tear, it depends on who you are, then you move on again.

It is like you sense the sadness in the very nature of life itself! like you are looking deeply at a baby just born and starting his life with crying, with the first breath, he cries, now he is alive!

Existential sadness, the pain of life!

I apologise if I have written so much about something that might be boring for many of you, but these words kept coming to me, forcing themselves on me, and I couldn’t help letting them out!

Her Wild Stallion

3 Responses to “Grief (Loss pain)”

  1. hiscountess Says:

    very beautifully written darling 🙂 very touching, straight from the heart to the heart…

  2. As you said “Ideas are the core of everything” . It is all about what u want , and what you decide “your Ideas”. let the “pathological depression” aside, everything else is a decision. It may sound weird but it is true. It is you who decide to grieve someone, you decide to be a “candle in the wind” , you decide how long will you grieve this person. Maybe some “serotonin receptors” will try to do things their way against your will , but this won’t continue for long. If you tried to engage urself in things that u enjoy e.g. learn how to play an instrument you won’t have space for grief. If you can direct you thinking elsewhere your grief won’t exceed 1 day except if you “enjoy your grief” .oh… I guess u are this type of ppl who enjoy pain, u r a masochist anyway.

  3. Queencheckmate Says:

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    http://queencheckmate.wordpress.com/2012/10/30/queencheckmate-was-nominated-for-the-one-lovely-blog-award/

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