Archive for July, 2014

Walk along the beach

Posted in Uncategorized on July 5, 2014 by thecountessshadow

That is just fantastic


Live without pretenses, live
So that, finally,
You draw towards yourself the love
Of space, hear the future.*

One should walk along the beach
and see winter spacing itself between
people, but don’t fill in the gaps. Leave them
to chance and feel the sand between your toes,
sinking into soft ambiguity. Others may find your
path, step inside, perhaps, but keep to yours,
seaweed on one side and the tide, inching
closer, on the other until your paths
converge (it won’t retreat or apologise)
and your feet are fully submerged.
Your footprints will disappear without trace
and, finally, you can say I live.
I may walk this beach again, but, until then,
I live in the margins of time and place.

*Boris Pasternak, “To be famous isn’t decent”  Translation by Bob Perelman and Kathy Lewis in Glad and Weissbort (1978),Russian Poetry: The Modern Period

View original post

Dalida “Helwa Ya Balady”

Posted in Music with tags , , , , on July 3, 2014 by thecountessshadow

Dalida, her very name brings a lot of beautiful memories though She died few years after I was born, but She meant a lot to me (and to many others all around the world too). She was a sensitive artist, a singer with a charming voice and flooding emotions, She was an actress who played a lot of memorable roles, but that is not the important thing about her. The real difference about Dalida is the fact that she was a true multi-cultural artist, a one that Egyptians think of as an Egyptian, and the french thinks of as a french because she was an Egyptian as much as she was a French and Italian. She was not just a pretender giving pale speeches about tolerance, but in her heart, all cultures melted to give a magnificent image that was very clear in her music and songs. Her loving heart could not tolerate the toughness of life and she gave up at last, and though this may seem sick of my side to say that I find her suicide romantic, I have to be honest enough to say this is exactly how I feel. Of course I love this artist and I would have been happier if she was still with us giving us joy with her art, and definitely her death (or the death of any other person) is not a happy event or a romantic one, but since it happened, I am just saying the way I feel about it! May be I am sick yes, but I feel like her suicide, the way she chose to end her life beside her life has made an icon out of her! Anyway, this is one of her songs that is pronounced in arabic “Helwa ya balady” and it means “my beautiful homeland”. I found myself remembering it today and I wanted to share it with you.



Her Wild Stallion


Being Fresh..”Auntie Ann’s Biscuits”

Posted in A Different Perspective with tags , , , , , , , , , , on July 2, 2014 by thecountessshadow



Nothing is more beautiful than feeling like a surprised child whose innocent eyes are so wide and taken by everything, exploring the world around him, and paying attention to every detail without losing the charm of the big whole image. A breathless soul for whom everything is new, everything is a mind blowing discovery, things, people, whatever his eyes see it takes his breath away with passion. They taught us that being so surprised is not a good thing (I don’t know if you were blessed with different teachings but that was my own!), that we had to become mature mentally and emotionally, to handle things with wisdom, and I have never spotted a more stupid teaching than this one, but it took me decades to understand this! The word mature is supposed to be good, like an apple that is red and ripe, a one that reached the peak of its glory and readiness to achieve its full potential, but for humans, the word rarely means the same glorious thing. It usually means that the person is depressed enough to notice any magic in the world, any symbol beyond the words or things, it simply means he has just lost interest, or in a more sophisticated way, he lost the freshness of his soul, and became a dead apple instead of being a ripe one! It seems as if the reason for the freshness of a child is the lack of experience or knowledge about the world, which may be partially true, but extremely superficial. Personally I believe it is his innate nature that is supposed to stay even when knowledge accumulates and it does not, because that child is artficially manipulated that his nature is distorted.

At any point in anyone’s life, his knowledge regarding most things is very limited until the moment he passes away. At any point, you know nothing about plants, their types, their life span, animals, places in the world, customs of other nations, or even thoughts of other people, billions of people all around the world, and these are just few examples. At any point you know nothing about almost everything, and your maturity is just the most unrecognized psychiatric sign of depression, a very weird type of depression that is very resistant to all antidepressants, a one that is not mentioned in the DSM, because it is a one that is generally acceptable or may be even blessed! Man finds himself bored, consumed with the delusion that he knows what is coming, you find yourself expecting events, expecting others’ reactions, hearing a word from someone and categorizing him into one of your fixed categories, and life feels so pale and boring. The tricky thing is that you categorize the other motivated by your so called maturity, and in turn he categorizes you, and the more strange thing is that you both fit into the stereotype the other categorized you in, and you are both dead struggling to find something to say to each other to fill the painful silence. This may sound an exaggeration for you, but to me, it is very true, happening all the time to me and to those around me.

I have read something written by a fellow blogger called “can we just talk”, and apart from the specific meaning that blogger wanted to convey, I thought about it and found that we are really unable to talk, not just unable to talk, but may be unable to see, to smell, or to use any of our senses to its maximal potential, because we are no more interested. How can we talk to each other, if each one can not talk to himself/herself? How can I genuinely care about you when I do not genuinely care about myself?! The psychologists say that children are self centred, and I say they are so much curious about themselves that they meet the world with the same fresh curiosity. They can make friendships easily, they can enjoy simple things, they are always imaginative and dreamy and still deeply involved in the real world, playing and running under the sun (I guess I am envying the kids!).

I was thinking about racism, and do not ask me what is the relationship between this post and racism, as always, I have no idea, and my thoughts are just impulsive the way you see them! So back to racism, laws fight it but it grows inside even if people deny it, you can spot it easily in simple gestures and stereotypical ideas of each group of people about other groups, and when you look closer you will find that the stereotypical racist is usually a nationalist, apparently a nationalist. Bretrand Russel argued that national symbols should be discarded in favor of a global flag for the whole planet to fight racism, but I find myself arguing against Russel, not because I am a fan of racism! but because I see the psychological roots of this ugly problem differently. Let me simply state, how can I respect you, when I despise myself?! How can you see my beauty when You can not spot yours?! It may sound stupid to you, but I invite you to watch closely any enthusiastic nationalist (mostly political ones) and look beyond the enthusiastic words into his/her life, and you will be astonished that he/she takes no pride in their culture, habits, or even families at times. I do not talk at the superficial speeches they give, but I talk about the true inner feelings that only a relative or a close friend may know. You may disagree with me, but I strongly invite you to check and see for yourself. I think nationalism and holding high your own values or traditions (even as a folklore you disagree with but are not ashamed of!) is the only way to embrace the other naturally. The problem is that true nationalists (actually the word is inaccurate but lets just use it) are not interested in giving political speeches, they may be artists, scientists, or regular people just enjoying their simple everyday life, and you will never know about them. You need to feel proud about yourself to be able to sense the beauty in the other, or let’s say, you need to be as natural as a child who loves mama Fatema’s pie and jumps happily for the lovely auntie ann’s biscuits! Does this make any sense to you, or is it just my nonsense?!


Her Wild Stallion

Sara Brightman [Live in Bucharest 2004]

Posted in Music with tags , , on July 1, 2014 by thecountessshadow



Fantastic performance from a great artist!